Tis the month yet again where ‘the Love’ takes centre stage with a million spotlights upon it.
We can’t help it, its everywhere, and it’s incredibly easy to get swept up with all the hubub and the lovey-dovey stuff (thank you V-day)! If you’re not careful, the whole thing can actually make you feel rather crappy, especially if you’re single. However, I’m determined to spin this being single malarky into a bonafide positive this month. Especially the fact that we get to date.
So, Tinder. The dreaded digital dating platform that has been getting itself a bit of a reputation. To be fair there are loads of digital dating platforms out there now that the following advice could apply to any of them. I myself have had multiple encounters through this little app, some good, some bad and some hilariously hideous. However, if you want to get yourself out there, see what there is and take it with a pinch of salt I think its great for meeting people. I have some rules that I follow which I will discuss as we go along, but for now, here are my tips for preparing yourself should you find yourself wanting to meet up with a Tinderite.
\\ Keep your mind occupied //
On the day of any date, the best thing to do is not stress out. I suggest you successfully occupy your mind until such time that you need to start thinking about getting ready. One time, before I was due to meet up with a guy, I was so nervous that I could feel myself getting more and more wound up, into a state that would sure enough shine through (in visible form of perspiration most likely) by the time it came to meeting him. So I found a good book, got myself out of the house and found some where to read, taking my mind off things. I was so nervous I read the entire book cover to cover and by the time it came to getting ready I was surprisingly calm as I had avoided worrying for an entire day!
\\ The “love you incase I die” phonecall //
Sounds dramatic (you get bonus points if you get the reference), but you need to pick a designated person to divulge your intentions and whereabouts to. My parents get way too excited when I go on dates. I can just see the glisten of hope in their eyes that I might not die alone and produce them grandchildren after all (p.s. I know they just want me to be happy and I love them for it) but I can’t bare going through it just to tell them 10 minutes later that I couldn’t stand the guy. So, I pick a friend. If they are a friend from work even better, as I’ll inevitably be conducting a first date on a school night (one of my rules) and if I don’t turn up for work the next day I like to think someone might raise the alarm, which brings me comfort and peace of mind. Safety first, you never know who is out there these days.
\\ Choose to be comfortable //
I cannot stress this enough – you need to be comfortable on any date. Whether it’s your clothes or your environment the more you feel comfortable and in control, especially on your first meet, the more you are likely to enjoy the whole event. Outfit wise, stick to smart casual. A nice top with jeans, which you can spice up with accessories and heals is more than adequate on a first date. You don’t need the stress of a ‘wardrobe situation’ on top of the stress of meeting someone new, as that is one recipe to make sure your perspiration goes sky high and your hair start to frizz! Also, when it comes to shoes by all means go for heels if you can actually walk in them and not feel like you are a newly born baby giraffe taking its first steps. But if you are like myself, stick to cute little pumps, easier for all terrains and practical to run in should the occasion call for it.
\\ Choose the Place //
Along the same lines as the above point, if you suggest a place because you like and feel comfortable there, a) you’re date will get to know something about you and b) you will feel more relaxed. There is no harm in taking the lead and suggesting the location for a first date. Once you build up a picture of the guy and get to know them a little bit by all means get more adventurous. But as a personal rule, I suggest the first place and it speaks volumes if I guy respects this and is willing to go a little out of his way to meet you.
\\ Be Yourself //
As cliché as it sounds, its true. Take a deep breath before your date arrives and just decided to be yourself. I know we try and impress by all means necessary but sometimes its better to just let your freak flag fly a little bit. If you’re not for the guy, then you would rather find out as soon as possible, right? Plus I’m a firm believer in ‘if it’s not meant to be, then it won’t be’. Look at it as meeting a person you’ve enjoyed talking to and don’t let your head run away with all the ‘what-if’s’ and possibilities, good and bad. Be in the moment. Be interested. Even if the date’s a dud, learn something and grow from it.