In light of the Justin Bieber (JB) and Selena Gomez (SG) rumours flying around it got me to thinking…is dating your ex ever a good idea?
I feel like this, as well as dating in general, is such a loaded topic as most of the answers you will get are purely subjective and down to individual circumstances. But hear me out…I haven’t yet seen anything concrete or official from SG or JB to suggest they are 100% an item.
They are trying like mad to keep everything on the ‘down low’, confirming nothing. Is this because they are just fed up of the judgement that comes with this topic? The judgement that overall it’s not really the best idea?
Maybe there is just nothing going on at all and some media nut has got the wrong end of a very long stick but regardless, I have always had the mentality that an ex is and ex for a reason. There was a reason that they became your ex. If you had a connection or any kind of chemistry it can be difficult to remember the reasons why it didn’t work, and get blindsided by all the reasons why it did work. Call me a cynic but I think you need to stick with your head and not your heart on this one. If you know the same issues still lurk beneath the surface, why bother?
But, like everything, I admit that sometimes it can work.
If enough time has passed for kinks to be ironed out and for people to grow, these changes can be enough to make the reasons why an ex became an ex no longer an issue. This might be the case for SG and JB as they were very young when they first got together.
Sometimes you just literally can’t escape your ex! Take Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth for example who have been on again off again on again off again for as long as I can remember. A house in Malibu bought by Liam to get away from Miley after a break-up, ended up being where Miley had previously lived and recorded her first album. He literally couldn’t get away! If its meant to be I reckon the universe has the ability to make it bloody obvious.
Although never having actually dated an ex myself, it has definitely crossed my mind. The what-ifs, the memories, the connection. What I try and remind myself is that it really didn’t work. I wanted ‘x’, ‘y’ and ‘z’ and he really only wanted ‘y’, with maybe and ‘m’ and a ‘p’ thrown in for good measure. Know what I mean? So I have rules, and there has to be something ground breaking or earth shattering for me to go against my better judgement.
I’ve spoken to a range of different people recently on this topic and the stories I hear are never clear cut. Some people have married their ex’s, some vow never to speak to their ex’s ever again let alone date them, but as far as it being a good idea to let ex’s back into your life, I reckon you just have to go with your gut and be honest with yourself. If you know the problems are still there and that nothing has changed be strong and stick to your guns. If, however, you keep coming back to a person, you’ve both had time to grow and you’re both thinking why the hell not? Go with it because life it too dam short not to just be happy.