Here we go. The mother of all rants. Relatable ‘tall girl’ problems.
1 // Finding a taller man
‘John Snow’ looked so tall on screen…there go my daydreams.
2 // “Ooo, You’re tall!”
Sound familiar? I mean no sh*t! These are the words no tall person ever truely wants to hear, especially when you’re on a supermarket mission and there’s a little old lady trying to reach a top shelf.
3 // Getting into the back of any car is a MISSION
The front seat can be okay. But if that sucker is shotgunned, let the folding up of limbs commence.
4 // Group photos
You’re either at the back behind everyone, or you feel like you have to stealthily squat to look like you’re the same height as everyone else. Just me?
5 // The stealth gaining of weight
This is like a ‘fortunate’ ‘problem’. Fortunate in that any weight gain seems to spread across a lovely tall frame and hide quite nicely. Problem in that once you actually realise you’ve gained weight you’re up sh*t creek minus that lovely paddle Gwyneth is sporting.
6 // Wearing heels
Do you choose to look great but narrow the field for finding a tall man even further? Or go with the F*ck it YOLO option and risk that at some point during the night you will look like a baby giraffe taking its first steps?
7 // Buying clothes
Beware any waist tailoring! That sh*t will either make you look 3 months pregnant, or like an uncomfortable extra from a Jane Austin movie.
8 // Borrowing a boyfriends shirt
That scene in Sex and the City where Carrie goes home in one of Big’s shirts, how in the heck did Carrie pull this off! She is half the size of me and it barely covers her front bum! One gust of wind and that would be game over! Needless to say I can’t even come close to pulling this off, it would just look like a normal shirt on me.
9 // Tinder is a nightmare!
Guys, just mention your dam height somewhere on your profile! That’s what I’m looking for, a taller guy! Why is that a bad thing? (P.S. Can it also be alongside the fact that you’re rich and you like dogs).
10 // Being the ‘little spoon’
Unless the guy is taller than you, this situation becomes problematic.